Long Haul

July 16, 2020

After the First Shock comes the Long Haul.

We're pretty good at doing The Right Thing during life's signature emergencies. There's a huge test just around your child's corner, so you rearrange life a bit to take off stress. Someone has a baby, and everyone rushes to send flowers and take turns babysitting to let the new mom shower or nap. A colleague has surgery, and everyone at the office pitches in to provide ready-made meals. The adrenaline rush that accompanies the excitement is useful at those times: Crisis mode can propel quick, efficient, creative functioning. And we generally know what to do, because we have traditions to tell us.

The real test of dedication comes in the aftermath of a crisis. The boring, grinding aftermath. Like the lull between exams, or Month 9 when the baby still hasn't slept through the night, or Week 6 of rehabilitation after heart surgery, or Year 2 of loneliness after a death. Humans usually adjust relatively quickly to a new normal after the excitement of a major life stressor flattens into the tedious aftermath even if it's unpleasant, especially if we have compassionate friends or family around us.

What happens, though, when the first shock is over, but the crisis doesn't let up, and everyone is affected, not just a few? Today we find ourselves no longer in the First Wave, when everything was changing day by day and we were stumbling around without a sense of how life was going to look even next week. So are we now in the Long Haul of COVID-19? I guess so. But unlike in normal emergencies, we're traveling the long-haul part of COVID without being able to predict what the destination will look like when we arrive, or when that may be.

A typical Long Haul often draws out the angels among us, those whose special gift is to read between the boring lines to find ways to make life better for those suffering. But here's a secret you can tell your kids: You can just decide to be one of those angels, even when you yourself are having a tough time. A little imagination is often all it takes to put yourself in someone else's shoes and find small ways to connect, and that distraction often helps with your own troubles at the same time.

Are you a Long Haul angel? My challenge for you today: Even if you're not one right now, please grow those wings. We're going to need you.